What else is the holiday period for if not for watching dystopian survival thriller horror?

That was apparently Netflix’s thinking, because Squid Game returns for its highly anticipated second season on December 26.

Binge seems more across the spirit of the season, with the long-awaited Gavin & Stacey: The Finale coming out the same day.

Also this month, Virgin River is somehow back for its sixth season, as is The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, with its third season.

As for the new stuff? 

Let me tell you about…

Polo — Netflix, out now

First it was Formula 1, then it was golf, and now we have a dramatic Netflix docuseries about polo, AKA the latest rich people sport you’ve never given a thought to that you will soon know a ridiculous amount about.

If you’re wondering who on earth would make a series about a decidedly high-brow pursuit that’s been declining in popularity for years, the answer is: the royals.

Polo is the latest foray into documentary by Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, as part of their 2020 deal with Netflix to “create content that informs but also gives hope”.

Unfortunately, Polo is more likely to make you feel hopeless than anything else.

Meghan and Harry do make brief appearances in the show, but their five-part series mostly follows a handful of rich professional polo players in the US.

They may not prioritise their horses’ three base needs over their desire to compete, they may not have reassuring things to say about the importance of their welfare, or even know all their horses’ names. But they do know how to use them to play polo.

And use them they must if they are to stand a chance at winning the 2024 US Open in Wellington, Florida.

If any of that makes you feel uneasy, it won’t surprise you to hear Polo has been panned by critics and viewers alike. Some of that will be down to the ongoing racism that taints anything Meghan touches, some of it will be because polo is (rightly) perceived as a sport only the privileged can afford to play, and some of it will be due to animal welfare considerations.

I’m recommending it in large part because of those latter two concerns.

Polo offers unprecedented insight into the use of horses for entertainment at a time when the public acceptance of equestrian sports — known as the social licence to operate — is at a decidedly low point in the wake of the Charlotte Dujardin scandal earlier in the year.

This isn’t necessarily what Harry and Meghan wanted any of us to latch onto from Polo, which was intended to “break down the stereotype [polo is] exclusively for the rich and famous”. But it’s the biggest takeaway.

And while no-one catches on fire in Polo (the same cannot be said for Drive to Survive), this rich-people sport is just as much of a breeding ground for intense and at-times comedic hyper-masculinity and interpersonal drama.

For fans of: Formula 1: Drive to Survive, Full Swing, Last Chance U

No Good Deed — Netflix, out now

In black comedy No Good Deed, empty nesters Paul (Ray Romano) and Lydia (Lisa Kudrow) must sell the dream Hollywood Spanish-style home they raised their children in because they desperately need the money.

Three couples are seriously interested.

There’s JD Campbell (Luke Wilson), the out-of-work soap actor who is being cheated on by his opportunistic wife, Margo (Linda Cardellini) — with none other than Katherine Moennig of The L Word fame, who plays a similarly aloof queer named Gwen here.

Then there’s the expecting Carla (Teyonah Parris) and her newlywed, mummy’s boy husband Dennis (O-T Fagbenle).

And finally, Leslie (Abbi Jacobsen) and Sarah (Poppy Liu), a young, anxious queer couple in the IVF trenches.

Each couple has ulterior motives and secrets — none more so than Paul and Lydia. Oh, and the house they’re selling more closely resembles a nightmare than a dream.

And this particular combination of stacked A-list names is everything — as is the way some were cast as characters we’d expect (Moennig as a Shane McCutcheon-type) while others appear as characters we never could have imagined seeing them embody (Cardellini as a heartless housewife).

At the centre of it all, Kudrow and Romano’s distinct brands of humour clash so pleasingly that it begs the question why it took so long to see these 90s sitcom legends act alongside each other.

For fans of: The Perfect Couple, The Watcher, Knives Out

The Secret Lives of Animals — Apple TV+, December 18

Move over David Attenborough, there’s a new posh English nature doco narrator on the scene.

Actor Hugh Bonneville (Downton Abbey, Paddington) leads this 10-part docuseries that follows 77 different animal species in 24 countries.

Filmed over three years, in a collaboration between the BBC Studios Natural History Unit and Apple TV+, The Secret Lives of Animals reveals the extraordinary things creatures do to survive — some of which had never been captured on film before.

Each episode in this delightful series focuses on pivotal challenges animals face in the wild, from the dangers that come with leaving home for the first time, to finding food, making friends and growing old.

Much of it (fish that fly? Lizards that can walk on water?) needs to be seen to be believed.

In the moments when mother nature isn’t the most merciful, Bonneville’s dulcet tones are a grounding presence. In others, his narration style is quietly funny (Think: “When it comes to a basilisk showdown, bigger is better”).

And of course, the cinematography is a visual feast, making this series the ultimate palate cleanser and crowd-pleaser.

For fans of: Planet Earth, Blue Planet, Born to be Wild

Douglas is Cancelled — ABC iview, out now

Three days ago, British news anchor and “daft old dad” Douglas Bellows (Hugh Bonneville, big month for him as it turns out) made an extremely sexist joke at a wedding.

He doesn’t remember what it was, and yet he is sure it was harmless.

Unfortunately, someone at the wedding tweeted about it. And while they only have 300 followers, his co-anchor, Madeleine Crow (Karen Gillan), retweeted it to her 2.3 million followers, presumably in his defence… Unless?

Douglas is Cancelled is the work of Steven Moffat, the veteran TV writer best known for his work on the immensely popular 2005 Dr Who revival.

Throughout his career, Moffat has been plagued by comments that he was only successful with Dr Who as a result of the foundations laid by his predecessor, Russell T Davies.

The addition of so many Dr Who alumni — from Gillan to Alex Kingston as Douglas’s gloriously cynical wife, Sheila — is a delightful bonus.

By the end of the first episode you’ll find yourself hitting “next” as quickly as you can. Because what the hell is Madeleine up to? And what on earth was Douglas’s joke?

For fans of: Austin, Dr Who, Scoop

Elton John: Never too Late — Disney+, out now

In the lead-up to his final North American show at LA’s Dodger Stadium in 2022, iconic British singer-songwriter Elton John takes us back in time to journey through his rise to super-stardom more than 50 years earlier with this definitive documentary.

Using a mix of archival interviews, footage and images, as well as original animations, the film recounts everything from the way John found his longtime songwriting partner, Bernie Taupin, to his decision to come out, to the period between 1970 and 1975 when he released 13 albums.

Seven of those albums reached number one on the Billboard charts, cementing his rockstar status. But, at the same time, those chart positions (along with “sex and cocaine”) were all he was living for.

Directed by John’s husband, David Furnish (who also produced Rocketman) and R J Cutler (Billie Eilish: The World’s a Little Blurry), Elton John: Never too Late doesn’t shy away from exploring that dark period, nor any other in the singer’s life.

There is a great deal of light to counteract that darkness, of course.

How could there not be when telling the story of a man who has managed to reinvent himself over and over again throughout the decades?

For fans of: Rocketman, Martha, Steve! (Martin) A Documentary in 2 Pieces